Sth really serious crop up betw mi and him..
We arent toking to each other now.. its call the cold war..
Haiz.. so much as i dont like the way he treats mi..
I still cant endure this silence, its killing mi..

I was actually quite lost in tots these few days without even realising it, until i sat down moments ago and began thinking abt everything. I realised that why is it that everytime i always forgave him despite all the things he had done. Its bcos i really love him alot. In simple terms, i think i really cant imagine life without him. No doubt, i have been thinking of giving up, but i think my heart just doesnt allows it. Grrrr...

I am starting to feel negative once again. Argh! i really hate this feeling.
Tml will be a better day! =) hopefully so.. I dread sun to come..

yes!! i tendered !! really a relief for me..

I was pondering for a long time on how to break the news to my boss. As much as i hated his unreasonable ways, its still kind of sad to tell him as i know there will be a shortage of senior staffs if i leave and Bec's gonna suffer. But i have to tell him anyhow.

He doesnt want me to leave, saying that he feel like tearing the letter and that he can reject my resignation. So he keep bugging me to reconsider. The only reason i might stay is bcos of my colleagues, but i know many are actually secretly planning to leave soon.

And then, today i found out that many ppl were aiming to get into my future company. I feel so lucky! lol.. But!! today Exxon Mobil called me n offered me a position ! kaoz.. i nearly bang wall ar.. I really was in a dilemna, not knowing which decision to make. I spoke to meow n bryan abt it. They asked me to try it out since i only had verbal agreement with Schering-Plough. In the end, i rejected Exxon's offer cos its bad to go back on my word. Singapore's market is real small, word spreads around easily. If i really fit their criteria, i believe a few years down the road when i apply, they will call mi up again. lol..
I told birdie abt this, n end up i stood there listening to his calculations on why Schering-Plough is better than Exxon, some unavoidable causes theory or wat. lol.. so funny..

These two days Bec isnt around, so i had to monitor all the students plus Gary n Claire. Not an easy task especially when i am doing elements. Bec u pang seh me ar! lol.. go wat Mango sales.. haha..

When i leave ITS, i am really gonna miss her very much.. Though we were buddies for a short 5 mths plus, I think we went through alot together. From giving attitude to each other to being scolded by my idiot boss, from doing pretests all thru the night to taking stupid photos in the lab, everyday is fun. I really really hope the best for her as Joanne's gonna replace me. Bec, if u see this, rem wat i told u, look out for Joanne, all of us dont trust her work quality. LOL..

I will miss u Rebecca Lie Ya Ting!! lol..

I did a quiz that i got from gb's blog.. lol

Too bored at work..

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


lol.. true to some extent especially the part that i am afraid of things i cannot control.
Yesterday before work, i met up wif charmaine and caiping.. been a super long time since i met up with them. I was so tired as my phone kept ringing, disturbing my sleep. But i still dragged myself up to meet up with them. The moment i reached paragon, i just couldnt stop thinking about the shoes i saw in NOVO. So i decided to hop by the shop to get the shoes before meeting them. To my disappointment, the shoes were no longer on display. I walked the whole shop searching for it. Refusing to walk out the shop empty-handed, i asked the sales girl if she had any idea if the shoes were still available. Of cos i described the shoes clearly to her. Was about to give up when she suddenly mentioned that she might have something similar to what i had described, and it turned out that they kept the shoes bcos its an old stock. I was so happy ! quickly purchased it and went to Thai Express to look for them.

Had our dinner at Thai Express. Yummilious as usual. After wards, we went shopping around with the hope of helping Charmaine get her bf's present. As usual la, the girl is full of nonsense. lol.. Went to Art Fren, I saw some inspirations on what to do. Hee.. After walking around, we settled at coffee bean for a drink and some cakes.

Nice meet up with them. Always feel so comfortable with them around. We are planning to go Bangkok next month. Hopefully things work out well and we three can go overseas together!

I went for the medical checkup on monday. Really cant wait to go to my new job bcos its 8 to 5! meaning more time for my girlfrens and myself.. so happy.. hehe.. I hate the blood test cos i am freakin scared of needles so i forced myself to turn away.. Overall, it was still alright..

The last weekend something happened betw me n him.. or should i say i was having some internal struggle.. The girls that he knew from clubbing came to view mi in friendster, so out of curiosity i viewed them back, only to find him in their photos physically close.
Yesterday, i confronted him about this matter n sorry is the only thing he could say. He always said he wont do it again but yet it is coming back time over time. I told him he have really no idea what i am going through unless i did it back on him. Many times i really tot of letting him taste his own medicine, but i cant, its not something that i would do.

Surprisingly, when i talked to him abt it ytd, i wasnt angry, wasnt disappointed neither did i cry. I dont know wat i am feeling. He asked why am i so quiet, i dont know. He said he is going to prove that he really wants to change. He is gonna give mi a sum of money every mth for mi to keep to prevent him from going clubbing.

I was half-hearted. Its not abt the number of times he go clubbing anymore. He just dont get it. I asked him where do u see us 2 years' down the road. He wans to settle if both of us are stable in terms of career. Funny, i start to dread this very day.

Yesterday i met up wif zhen, charlene n laine for sentosa. So happy that i can finally meet up wif them ! I msg them on fri that i know i kind of neglected them due to work, n i am so sad that i drifted away from them.

No doubt, i was feeling a little weird when i saw them.. Its like a feeling of having to get to know them once again. Really didnt like the feeling since i know them for a long time le.. But things were better when the day goes by. The sun was scorching hot! so in the end we hid in the shade.. -_-

After only 2 hours or so, we decided to pack up n head for vivo.. we went to gloris jean's cafe to chill.. the drinks there are really very nice! The cakes are not tt appealing though. After which we waited for wee n hc to come. n i onli manage to spend like 10 mins wif lucas, cos he was rushing off to his aunt's funeral..

We went to mac to sit down again... to wait for rh n jr.. I was quite frustrated wif Lucas actually.. He wanted mi to go over his aunt there but didnt cfm wif mi.. I told him if i dont need to go, i wanna head back to his place bcos vivo is so near to his hse.. so i told him to leave his keys outside in case no one is at home.. But, go one big round, he forgot n said he not sure wat time the funeral will end.. Ya, so i am stuck there not knowing wat to do.. Then he said he is not sure if i need to go over on sunday..

Wat made mi so mad is that, i dont understand why he cant just call his mom n asked everything clearly before telling mi.. He made mi so confused that in the end, i decided not to go down. I dont know why, but i really am disappointed that he cant get this small issue organised.

So i joined them for ktv.. it was fun.. cos its a long time since i been to a ktv session wif them.. haha.. after tt mi, elaine, rh, wee, cindy, beng n hq went to a ktv pub.. but elaine n mi left after awhile.. i was updating her abt wat happened betw mi n lucas.

today, i woke up n suddenly left that i realli need a break from this hurting r/s.. i realy cant stand the fact that he is always so physically close to girls during clubbing.. seriously, wats his problem. i know he changed as in he dont cheat anymore, i am sure of it..
But i cannot stand it, i need a break.. He wanted mi to go over his place today, I told him no.. the first ever time.. n i told him i wont be meeting him for the whole of next week..

I just want some quiet time wif myself n my friends.. n there's no way i am gonna put him the no .1 priorty again..

Life sucks...

I really hate my work.. there's so much quarreling due to the lack of apparatus n equipments..
End up, we always had to work ot.. shit....

Bcos of this work, i think i really paid a great price.. My social circle is getting smaller.. I have no one to blame.. bcos i am always at work..
n my temper is getting really really short.. I need to change..

My mom dont seems to understand my situation.. n i think i am spending less time with him.. so sian...

I miss all my frens.. haiz...